Growing up, I used to question the teachings on spiritual gifts, tongues, and prophecies in the Bible. I was taught to interpret these passages symbolically rather than literally for today. The church leaders spoke against charismatic beliefs and it made sense to me. With good intentions, they used careful explanations to show why they disagreed with the charismatic doctrine. I believed them and thought that charismatic gifts had ceased after the first century. I saw the charismatic movement as counterfeit and thought they were just pretending, without grounding in the Bible.
But things changed in 2011.
Chennai, India, 2011
Leading up to that fateful night, I was feeling a bit spiritually lost for some reason. For some reason, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to God. Don’t get me wrong, the church on Sundays, the occasional exhortations, belting out songs, and powerful prayers were great. I could “feel” God’s presence, but it was like hitting a wall and coming up short of something more fulfilling. I was with amazing leaders and great people, but there had to be something out there.
I decided to ask God for answers. After all, the Bible says that
“If you need knowledge, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5.
So there I was asking God for a sign, a hint, anything! But leading up that day, nope, nothing. I mean, I could “feel” Him during my prayer, but I wanted answers! So, my desperation grew as I waited with an open heart.
The night God spoke to me
Then after months of praying and waiting till that day in November 2011, it so happened I had to call this Pastor (Pastor Sukumaran, who I didn’t know at the time) for a friend. I rang him up, and as we chatted, he dropped a bombshell: he said that God had been hearing my prayers and seeing my desperate quest for the truth. He told me that God would speak to me soon and advised me to keep reading the Bible.
I was totally skeptical and shocked. How on earth did he know all this? This was something deeply personal between me and God. He even mentioned things that no one else could know.
That night I thanked God and continued in prayer. I asked God to reveal the truth and to speak to me. Over the years, I’ve seen people carelessly use “The Lord told me…” and stuff like that, and I have made it a point that I’ll never use it carelessly, but I did hear the Lord speak. I heard a voice which was loud enough for me to hear. I don’t know if it was audible or if it was in my spirit. But I heard “Read“ and “1 Corinthians 13”. I was quite shocked and wasn’t sure what was happening. I had no clue what 1 Corinthians 13 was all about and was rushing to find out what it was.
1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I found out later that this was a passage cessationists used to shoot down charismatic gifts. It felt like the Lord took me right into the middle of the storm, but He guided me through it and opened my heart and spiritual eyes to the scriptures, just like Lydia’s in Acts 16:14-15. The Lord showed me and convinced me that the gifts of the Holy Spirit didn’t end.
What are you going to do with this truth?
That night, God opened my eyes. I was convinced in my spirit and mind that spiritual gifts are still present today. However, I hadn’t received any spiritual gifts like speaking in tongues, prophecy, or healing, so there was no experience to back up my understanding.
My family’s denomination or the real deal? That was my big dilemma. In my culture, switching between denominations is like World War 3. So, I asked for a sign, and guess what? God came through with some guidance.
If it wasn’t important for Me that my children should worship me in the right way, why did I deliver Israel from Egypt and didn’t compromise when Pharaoh gave permission to worship me in Egypt( Exodus 9 : 25-26). If I didn’t compromise then, why would you?.
I thought deeply about this decision, knowing the difficulty and pain it would cause. Nonetheless, I chose to join a Charismatic church though I hadn’t yet received the Spiritual gifts. This was based on the teachings of the Word of God, which the Lord had imparted to me.
I spoke in tongues!!
Amazingly, the next Sunday, I found myself speaking in tongues and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit within me. The Word of God had turned from mere words to a tangible, life-altering experience.
Ever since I left cessationism, I’ve had people coming at me, trying to contend with me about what God spoke to me. They have good intentions, and I hope that they will see what I see, One brother, while trying to convince me that Spiritual gifts don’t exist, said he prayed a lot for it but never got it. When I asked if he believed the Word before praying, he said he knew he wouldn’t get it. What am I supposed to say to that? That’s prayer without faith.
You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.” Matthew 21:22
Dear brother or sister in Christ, don’t just sit there trying to not find out what the truth is. If you don’t even bother to figure out if what you believe is right or wrong, what right do you have to point fingers at unbelievers for doing the same? They were born into something and they just go with it, regardless of what the truth may be, and most people do the same.
My goal with this piece is not to declare my own sainthood and perfection, nor to make myself the star of the show.
I believe in the existence of spiritual gifts, but not that those who haven’t spoken in tongues, aren’t baptized in the Holy Spirit. Tongues is a gift of the Holy Spirit, I believe, and I’m blessed to have it, but I firmly believe there are people who are not speaking in tongues but baptized in the Holy Spirit.
My intention is to share some truth and emphasize that God is reliable and will guide us no matter what. Trust in Him and you won’t be disappointed.
1 Corinthians 1: 21-23
For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. It is foolish to the Jews, who ask for signs from heaven. And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom. but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles.
I pray that God may open your eyes and I hope that you will see the truth in the light of the Word of God. It’s been 13 years this year and I can say something for sure, it’s worth it. However, it’s a step in the right direction, and I have miles to go in my Christian walk.
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