A few months back, when I was getting seriously mistreated, ignored, and put down by someone, I opened up a whole can of emotions. If I felt angry at them, I felt guilty, you know, because Jesus said to love those who hurt you. I thought the most Christian thing to do was to patch things up with them, no matter how they treated me. I mean, Jesus did say if someone slaps you, turn the other cheek. So, I decided to apologize, hoping to mend that friendship.
God revealed my true heart
But one day, while driving my car, I felt as if God was speaking to me, revealing my heart. He asked me a powerful question: “Are you asking for forgiveness because you are truly sorry, or is it because you want to restore your self-worth?” This question caught me off guard. It made me realize that when I am mistreated, ignored, or belittled, I often find myself wallowing in self-pity, trying to plead and manipulate my way back into that relationship out of selfish motives, seeking to restore my self-worth in people’s eyes. Sometimes, it’s just because I detest the thought of someone disliking me. As Pam says in The Office,
“I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I hate even thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me. “
– Pam Beesly, The Office
It’s true that everyone hates it when there is somebody out there that hates them. But sometimes it becomes an obsession, which has nothing to do with understanding their point of view or about being sorry for hurting them, but rather a selfish obsession to correct their misgivings about you. We just want them to say ” I was so wrong about <Your Name>. He really is a nice guy”. For that we may give them gifts, try to praise them.
The Solution: See how much Christ values you
Do you realize that there’s a powerful solution for this? This destructive behavior stems from entrusting our self-worth to others. Your true value lies in how Jesus perceives you. You yearn for this person’s approval, but it truly shouldn’t consume you. If they appreciate you, fantastic, but if not, it’s simply a matter of compatibility. If someone mistreats you, it’s not a reflection of your worth. If someone disregards you, it’s not a commentary on you.
The only way to deal with this is by finding our value in what God says about us. We are valued in Christ, cherished, and deeply appreciated. Let me share a touching story with you – there was an elderly man who decided to sell his 1970 model car. He requested his grandson to take it to the used-car dealerships to assess its value. Unfortunately, every dealership offered a maximum of $500, dismissing it as an old car. When the grandson relayed this information to the old man, he encouraged him to visit an antique car dealership. To their surprise, the car was offered $100,000 there, as it was recognized as a rare antique piece. This story reminds us that seeking our worth in the wrong places can lead to undervaluation. However, if we place our worth in Christ, we will realize that our value is defined by the “Blood of Christ” – there is nothing more precious. That’s your worth.
But when you place your worth in Christ, you will see that your value is the “Blood of Christ”. There is nothing more valuable. That’s your worth
So today, see who you are in Christ. Once we place our value in Christ, knowing that our life is hidden in Christ, it becomes easy for forgiveness to flow when we are hurt, and it won’t be to restore our self worth in them, but it will be because we have realized that Christ’s nature is our true nature.
Isaiah 43:4 (ESV) 4Because you are precious in my eyes, and honoured, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.
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