Back in 2015, I got to know a Christian missionary—a fellow believer, someone I thought I’d keep in touch with, even if we weren’t especially close. But seemingly out of nowhere, he just stopped talking to me.
No explanation.
No confrontation.
Just silence.
At first, I thought it was a fluke. Maybe he was busy. Maybe it was a miscommunication. But over time, it became painfully clear—he had ghosted me.
I tried reaching out. Sent messages. Asked gently if I’d done something wrong. Nothing. He saw the messages. He was active online. But no response. It felt like being thrown away—as if I had no value. And yeah… that stung.
When Rejection Becomes a Thought Loop
I found myself replaying the situation over and over.
Why would he cut me off like that? What did I do?
And more importantly… why was I still trying to reconnect with someone who clearly didn’t want it?
That’s when I had to face something uncomfortable:
Was I really reaching out because I cared about him? Or was I trying to regain a lost sense of value?
I realized it wasn’t about love—it was about pride.
It was about me.
My flesh was trying to win back the upper hand.
And worse, a part of me imagined what it would be like to finally get that connection back—only to turn around and ghost him in return. That ugly little whisper: “Then you’ll know how it feels. Then I’ll have the upper hand.”
Revenge, Offense, and the Lie of Control
I know how fleshly that sounds. Because it is.
It’s not Christ, not grace and not humility.
It’s just raw pride pretending to be emotional closure.
Jesus never treated people like that—even the ones who rejected Him. He didn’t try to “gain the upper hand.” He didn’t withdraw connection so He could feel powerful. When He was mistreated, He didn’t try to regain control. He emptied Himself.
He served.
He loved.
Even when it wasn’t returned.
“He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:8)
Where Is My Value Really Placed?
That’s the real question.
If my value comes from how others treat me, then rejection will devastate me. But if my value is in Christ, what others do—or don’t do—shouldn’t shake me.
Jesus didn’t walk around saying, “You guys don’t love Me, so now I feel worthless.”
No. His identity was unshakable.
Rooted.
Rock solid.
That’s how ours should be too.
The Right Kind of Reconnection
Would I have liked to stay connected with this person? Absolutely.
But if I ever reach out again, it must be out of love, not ego. Out of concern, not compulsion.
Not to prove something. Not to reclaim power.
Just love.
And if there’s no response?
That’s okay too.
Final Word
We were not created for revenge.
We were not designed to find our worth in the opinions of others.
We were made to reflect Christ—even when we’re rejected, ignored, or treated like we don’t matter.
Because our worth doesn’t fluctuate based on human behavior.
Our value was secured at the cross—once and for all.
So let’s live like it.
Let’s love like Him.
And let’s stop letting ghosted texts haunt us more than they should.
Continue reading
Related reading:
Leave a Reply