There are verses in the Bible that modern church culture quietly avoids.

Not because they’re unclear— but because they’re uncomfortable.

Romans 16:17–18 is one of those verses.

“Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause dissensions and obstacles contrary to the doctrine you have learned. Avoid them, for such people do not serve our Lord Christ but their own appetites. They deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting with smooth talk and flattering words.”

(Romans 16:17–18, HCSB)

This is not Paul being unloving.

This is Paul being pastoral.

This is Paul protecting the church Jesus purchased with His blood.

This is Paul taking truth seriously.

And the first thing Paul says is not,

“Love them.”

“Embrace them.”

“Give them a microphone.”

“Let them lead.”

“Let them preach.”

No.

Paul says:

“Watch out.”

“Avoid them.”

“They deceive.”

This is not harsh.

This is not ungraceful.

This is not anti-love.

This is love with discernment, the very thing Paul prayed for in Philippians 1:9—

that our love would abound in knowledge and discernment so we can approve what is excellent.

Love without discernment is not love. It is sentimentality. It is naïveté. It is dangerous.

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1. Love Does Not Mean Letting Everyone Lead

Yes, we love our enemies.

Yes, we bless those who curse us.

Yes, we forgive freely.

But loving someone does not mean handing them influence in your life, your family, or your church.

Paul is not talking about unbelievers needing grace.

He is talking about people inside Christian communities who:

• stir division
• create obstacles
• twist doctrine
• deceive the vulnerable
• operate from appetite, ego, or ambition
• speak smoothly but poison hearts quietly

And Paul’s counsel is shockingly simple:

Avoid them.

Not “engage them endlessly.”

Not “give them a platform.”

Not “hope they eventually calm down.”

Not “keep the peace at any cost.”

Avoid them.

Boundaries are not unloving. They are wisdom.

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2. “Watch Out” — Because Error Rarely Wears a Signboard

Paul does not say, “Be paranoid.”

He says, “Be watchful.”

Why?

Because divisive people rarely start with obvious division. They don’t begin with outright heresy or open rebellion.

They begin with:

• subtle complaints
• whispered opinions
• “concerns” presented as spirituality
• flattering words
• charm
• emotional pull
• sympathy-seeking
• creating sides
• undermining trust in leaders
• shifting loyalty to themselves

Paul says they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.

That’s why he says watch out.

Not fearfully, but wisely. Shepherds watch. Parents watch. Leaders watch. Believers watch. Because truth matters. Unity matters. The flock matters.

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3. Personal Experience: When Love Required a Hard Decision

Years ago, I watched this verse unfold in real life. A man in leadership was divisive, contentious, and constantly stirring conflict.

He was influential. He had charisma. He had friends and supporters.

When discipline became necessary, many said,

“But shouldn’t we love him?”

“Isn’t church a place of grace?”

“Aren’t we being too harsh?”

But grace does not ignore destruction. Grace does not sacrifice the flock for a wolf. Grace does not allow poison to spread “in the name of love.”

We lovingly advised him. We warned him. We walked with him. We gave him chances. We spoke truth in kindness.

But when the pattern did not change, we did what Paul said. We drew boundaries. Not out of pride. Not out of anger. Not out of rejection.

But in obedience to Scripture and protection for the body.

Some misunderstood. Some disagreed. But looking back, it was the right thing.

And it was biblical.

Because avoiding someone is not hatred— it is wisdom when that person is divisive.

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4. Advising and Warning Comes First — Avoiding Comes Next

Notice Paul’s pattern:

• Advise them
• Warn them
• Give chances
• Seek reconciliation
• Speak truth

But when the person continues in division—

Paul says:

Avoid them.

This is not about cancelling people.
This is not about gossip.
This is not about punishment.
This is about protecting:

• the vulnerable
• the unity of the church
• the purity of doctrine
• the peace of the saints
• the health of the community

Some people only understand boundaries, not dialogue.

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5. The Finished Work Lens: We Do Not Avoid People Out of Fear

Under the finished work of Christ:

• we are secure
• we are righteous
• we are complete in Him
• we are not in danger of losing holiness

So why avoid certain people?

Because:

• we protect what Christ entrusted
• we guard our hearts
• we maintain unity
• we refuse to let the enemy gain influence
• we honour the finished work by walking in wisdom

Avoidance is not insecurity.

Avoidance is not legalism.

Avoidance is not pride.

Avoidance is obedience motivated by love for the body and loyalty to the gospel.

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6. Final Word: Love Everyone — But Let Not Everyone Lead

Romans 16:17–18 is a sober reminder:

Not everyone who speaks smoothly serves Christ.
Not everyone who is influential is healthy.
Not everyone who is gifted is submitted.
Not everyone who is passionate is trustworthy.

And love does not mean:

• letting them mentor you
• giving them authority
• letting them influence the weak
• allowing them to divide
• enabling their behaviour

Love means:

• warning them
• advising them
• praying for them
• forgiving them
• and if necessary… avoiding them

Not to punish.
Not to reject.
But to honour Jesus and protect His church.

Because unity is precious. Truth is precious. The flock is precious. And sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say “No more access.”