We come across many people who are believers, who claim to be believers. But sometimes they themselves may not realize that they aren’t. If you ask them, they might say “Well, my Pastor said if I checked the box on the card, then I’d be saved, so I did.”. Though we are not to go around judging one another, 1 John 2:3-6 talks about how we can ourselves evaluate if we have come to know Him, or if we are a believer?
By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.
Also he mentions in 1 John 5:2-3
By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.
What are some of the points we can glean from this?
Do You Have an Innate Love for Others?
In verse 3, John makes a profound statement that if “we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments”. This is not about believers striving to keep the Mosaic Law or the moral law, as John himself clarifies in the next chapter. What is this command? John explains: “And this is His commandment: that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as He has commanded us.” (1 John 3:23). So John is saying that if you have know Jesus, then you would have believed Him, His Word, and everything He said about you, and also you WILL keep the commandments. What commandments? Love one another.
It’s a statement of certainty, like if you light a fire, there will be heat and light, if you believe or are born again, YOU WILL HAVE an innate love. In fact it is equivalent to the statement, “If you do not keep His commandments, you have not come to know Him.“. This is a profound statement. This passage is not about striving to walk in love. It says that if we know Him, we will love. It is something we just can’t help ourselves. Just as a sinner will sin, a believer will love. Love is inevitable for those who know Christ.
You Emit Love
You might think- wait a minute. Why does he say that if we love, we are of Christ? It is because in such a person who believes, the love of God is perfected in them. The word perfected in this verse is teteleiótai in Greek which means “to complete,” “to bring to an end,” “to accomplish,” or “to perfect.”, and it shows a completed action with ongoing effects. So in other words, if you are a believer, love of God is accomplished in you, with effects. Just like if you have radioactive material, it will emit radiation, because it is, similarly, we emit love because we are.
Love is Your Fruit
Look at what its not saying- it’s not saying, oh that person will try, try and somehow will love, or will decide to love (discussed later in this blog) but that the love of God is perfected in them. John is emphasizing that if you are a believer, you cannot help but love. You have an innate inclination to love, which you didn’t have before.
Yes, you might get annoyed with another believer or disappointed in them, but you will still love them. This is why Galatians 5:22-23 talks about the fruit of the Spirit, which is love. Have you ever seen a tree striving and struggling to produce fruit? No, it bears fruit naturally because that is its nature. Similarly, John is saying that for those who believe in God, love is perfected in them—it is their nature. Even a believer who lives deeply in the flesh and not in the Spirit will still have love for others, though it might not always be outwardly visible.
Love Is Not Just a Decision, but an Orientation
Some people say that love is a decision or a choice. While there is some truth to this, John is pointing to something deeper. He does not say that those who know Him will choose to love, but that they will love.
There will, of course, be difficult people, just as Jesus faced the Pharisees. Jesus still loved them, even though He did not engage with them much. Similarly, Paul and Barnabas had a sharp disagreement over Mark, but later Paul acknowledged Mark’s value and love prevailed.
This is where I disagree with some of the modern day teachings that love is a choice or decision. I can show you hundreds of self-help books that tell us the same thing. But if you are going to treat it like a decision, then soon 1 Cor 13 is going to look like a lot of work for you. It comes under self-improvement which is flesh. Is loving your children a choice? No, you just can’t help it. Sure, you may not give them hugs and kisses every second brimming with love for them, but it’s not just a decision. Instead, it is an orientation.
This is how you know whether you are in Him. If you have an innate love for people. You might have faced disappointments, challenges, and deceptive folks, but you have an innate love for them.
What Love Is not
“Minding Your Own Business” is not Love
Love is by nature giving. It is not focused solely on “my family, my friends.” True love extends beyond your immediate circle. How do you respond when a fellow believer falls into a problem? Do you run away from it, saying, “I don’t want to be involved in the drama”? Or do you extend a helping hand?
A few years ago, there was this woman who had to face something dreadful from another “believer”, and while she was devastated, she was hoping for someone to stand by her. Shockingly, I saw that most just decided to play it safe and stay neutral because they didn’t want to drag themselves or their families into it. Is that love? No.
In our day and culture, we see many believers who are not involved in the lives of others but rather their family. They don’t mingle with other people, and even if they do, they have an angle. Nothing is their problem, and that is not a characteristic of someone who is born of God.
Self-improvement techniques are not love
Sometimes people hurt us, and we get offended, and things happen, but you can either choose to respond from the flesh, which is a mindset, or you can choose to respond by the spirit, who you really are. John says here that if you try to live in the spirit, you will find love there, because it has been perfected in a believer. But if you are not a believer, you will find nothing there.
Taking a “decision” to love is also something that is taught extensively in churches these days, but if you are going to do that, it is going to frustrate you soon enough because it is going to be “work” for you. Self-improvement techniques are just going to frustrate you because that is the flesh at work. Rather, access the love that you have in the spirit, the fruit, and live it out.
Conclusion- We just Can’t help it
Love is not merely an obligation for believers—it is an inherent quality that flows from their union with Christ. Sure, you might meet some challenging people, you might have people taking advantage of you, but remember this- what you “feel” is the flesh. You have an innate desire to love in you. You just can’t help it. It is evidence of salvation and a mark of walking in the light. Whether through patience, kindness, or selflessness, love reflects the perfected work of God in the believer’s life. As John emphasizes, true believers cannot help but love—it is their new nature in Christ.
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