1 John 2 talks about love and about how if you believe, you will love.
By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. (1 John 2:3-5)
They are not separate from each other. They go hand in hand. I believe this study on love deserves to be looked in multiple sessions. In this blog, we will discuss on love.
So, what is love? Culture has tainted love, and has portrayed it to be something else. However, in order to understand love, we should look into the Word, and also how Jesus expressed love.
Loving When It’s No Big Deal Isn’t Really Love
Love is one of the most profound and challenging virtues, as Jesus taught us. It’s easy to love people who treat us well or give us a reason to reciprocate. But true love—the kind Jesus commands—is expressed when we extend patience and kindness to those who don’t deserve it.
Jesus said in Luke 6:32, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” In other words, loving someone who already loves you back is easy, and it’s not particularly remarkable. We all have our groups and gangs where we are comfortable and we “love” them. But the true test of love comes when we deal with those who seem to go out of their way to make life difficult for us.
So what is love? 1 Cor 13 shows us the gold-standard which we will delve for the next few blogs.
Love Is Patient (1 Cor 13:4): Even When Someone Drives You Nuts
The Greek word for patience, μακροθυμέω (makrothymeō), means “to take a long time before expressing anger.” Inherently, the word is used in dealing with difficult people and situations. It’s about being slow to anger and enduring difficulties without retaliating.
Retaliation—whether it’s a snarky comment or harbouring bitterness—is not love. Retaliation can also be through gossip, comments, even “facts” about the person. That’s not love. Some are very sneaky with this. They don’t publicly say anything but then they post digs on Facebook against the one they want to retaliate. That’s not love.
Some even do a self-righteous retaliation, saying that the revenge is of the Lord and that if he does good things for the offender, he is heaping coals (Rom 12:20), and that person will be judged quickly. But that isn’t love. Love expects good things for the person, and the reason why love withholds retaliation is so that they can come around.
Think about the person who is very difficult in your life. Are you being patient with them? Not retaliating in patience and love?
Patience with “Boundaries”
Patience in love means being willing to endure even when someone backbites you, makes false accusations, or hurts you. By enduring, I don’t mean to say that you should not keep boundaries. Patience includes love, and also hope, believing they might come around someday, but keep healthy boundaries. For example, someone who always takes advantage of you every time, you can set boundaries, as even Jesus didn’t entrust himself to all (John 2:24), but at the same time, love them, have hope for them, but don’t give yourself to them. Someone who always gossips about people, and you find yourself pulled into it, pray for them, love them knowing where they are coming from, have hope for them, but avoid situations where they can call and gossip more.
Think of how parents deal with their kids. Think of kids who are into substance abuse. What would a parent do, if the kid asks for money1, would they give it to the child, out of love? No! that would harm the child. But the parent will withhold money, while praying and hoping for them. This is what patience means. Parents remain patient, hoping for their growth and eventual change. Patience is not passive silence; it’s a proactive choice to remain calm and hopeful.
Patience gives “time”
2 Peter 3:9 shows how God is patient with humanity:
“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)
As you see, God is patient and gives time, for us, so that we will not perish. So with that difficult person you deal with, are you giving him “time” hoping that he will come around? You can do that by setting boundaries, but don’t lose sight of the person- watch them, and help them change, but NEVER LOSE HOPE ON THEM.
Prayer and Hope in Patience
I just mentioned that we should never lose hope on them. When you have hope, it often shows into prayer. Because you cannot pray for someone, if you don’t have hope that things at the very least could change. You might be asking God to do the impossible, but that is still a glimmer of hope. However, if you are not doing anything about the person in prayer, you are not having any hope or patience with the person, you are just holding a grudge.
Patience in Ministering
Sometimes this patience is needed in ministry. One powerful example of patience comes from the life of Adoniram Judson, a missionary to Burma (modern-day Myanmar). Judson spent years translating the Bible into Burmese and sharing the gospel, often facing hostility and rejection. He endured imprisonment, the death of loved ones, and countless setbacks. Yet, he remained patient, trusting that God would bring fruit from his labor. Today, Judson’s work is credited with establishing one of the strongest Christian communities in the region.
Conclusion: Love That Stands Out
Patience is a hallmark of Christ-like love, but they’re not easy. They require us to go beyond what feels fair or deserved, choosing to reflect God’s grace instead. Whether it’s dealing with frustrating people or showing generosity to those who least deserve it, love always seeks the best for others.
- Every situation is different. ↩︎
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